i hate people who give negative reviews and ratings on sites like newegg for bullshit reasons.

i’m trying to buy memory right now to upgrade my mbp, and i keep seeing reviews with less than five stars. like any good consumer, i like to read the pros and cons to see what issues each person had before i spend my money. one brand had like three goddamn stars, but all the pros were “best memory ever!” well, whatever could the cons be? i’ll tell you. they said mindblowing shit like “shipping took longer than i expected” and “packaging wasn’t as nice as i had hoped for”.

that’s not a con, asshole. you can’t score a product lower because amazon takes it’s sweet time getting it to you. you’re fucking up the rating, which means people like me have to dig through reviews to realize that there’s nothing wrong with it in the first place, which takes up valuable time that i could be spending doing my job. maybe i work in a hospital. in the emergency baby ward. and babies are dying because you had to be a whiny dick and bitch about retarded shit that’s unrelated to the product itself. i hope you’re proud of yourself.

fyi, you know what magical thing they have in online stores now? overnight shipping. cheap bastard.

another thing you can’t list as a con is a feature that didn’t come standard. let me explain. i was reading reviews on a laptop. people kept saying “doesn’t do 1280 resolution” under cons. oh, really? you motherfucking bought a laptop that says it will only do 1024 resolution, and you’re going to say it’s a flaw in the product that it won’t do any higher? you can’t buy a car that doesn’t have a cd player and then whine that the car isn’t performing like you expected because it won’t play your cds. ugh.

one time, last year, i was looking at external hard drives. multiple people listed “it gets hot” under cons. what the fuck? of course it gets hot, dipshit. it’s a hard drive. someone — i swear that this is 100% true — put the following as a con: “it stops working if you drop it.”

really? kill yourself.